Yep. I said it. This might hurt a little, but I'll offer you a cyberhug when you're through reading.
I see so many good-looking, single, well-paid brothers living the same type of life year after year. Some of you want to get married soon, but you've yet to find a good woman that will take you seriously. You keep meeting the same super needy, whiny, self-deprecating, manic-depressive nutcase with a cute face, small waist and booty that almost makes you forget her aforementioned flaws... until, of course, she opens her mouth.
That specimen is far cry from a good woman, and the only reason you've attracted her is because there are little tidbits in you that keep the good ones away.
I hate to tell you this, but good women-- we turn our heads away when we see you coming. You're handsome, intelligent, well-dressed, have some promise of a great future, a good man... but there's that one little nagging thing you do that screams "Stay away from me. I'm just going to play with your emotions."
Don't believe me? I invite you to take a look into the cybermirror of introspection. Go somewhere private and grab a tissue...
- You have unrealistic expectations. There is NO SUCH THING as a party girl that dresses to show off her 36-24-46, cooks and cleans like your momma, pays all her bills on time, makes your toes pop three times a week, AND serves the Lord faithfully on Sunday mornings but let's you stay home to watch TV. If you want that party girl, then go get one, but if you want a wife you've got to look a little deeper than her Facebook photos.
- You have feminine energy. Nah, dog... don't skip past this one just because you're not effeminate. Feminine energy is something TOTALLY different. If you've ever found yourself saying "I just want a woman to take care of me, chase me, sweat me, make ME happy" that's feminine energy. A man is supposed to cover, protect, and care for the woman, not the other way around. Yes, there are some things we tend to as women, but those things are benefits of committed relationships... not dinner and a movie. And to be totally honest, it's downright girly of you... Man up.
- Everything is about sex! Are we really still doing this? Fellas, you're in your 30's now. There is no need to EVER say "I'll have you addicted to me." That's the fastest way to lose a good woman. We don't care to be addicted to anything, and if it's soooo good (*rolls eyes*) shouldn't you have someone already? Oh wait... you still have that crazy chick calling and texting you everyday that's two days away from busting out your car windows. No thanks! If a woman tells you that you can't have her cookies, but you know you want some cookies, don't try to change her mind. Get your cookies elsewhere and lose our numbers on the way.
- Your interest is feigned, and/or you're inconsistent. I really think this comes from insecurity issues. Bless your broken heart, brother. But don't lead a woman on just for your ego's sake. A good woman will quickly forget the inconsistent caller.
- BIG OL' EGO! Tiny little huevos. If you find yourself crafting your words very carefully, chances are you're afraid of rejection. You don't want to make a woman say "yes", but you don't want to hear a "Heck-no-negro-get-out-my-face" either. Understood. We all hate rejection. But sometimes you all get a little too goofy. If you don't have the confidence to ask a question directly, then don't ask until you do.
- You are bossy, critical, or judgmental. Do you want a woman like that? No?! But you just said I should go out more, take more pictures, wear my hair up, paint my living room red, not buy my kids those toys but pay extra on my credit card instead, AND eat a salad for dinner. Stop it. If a woman doesn't interest you, it's not her responsibility to change for you. Accept her, or choose to part ways.
- And here's the big one.... YOU LACK DISCRETION!!! Many of you are starting to want a wife which is so beautiful and precious. So when you ask a woman out on a date, do it privately. And when you ask another woman out on a date that same week, do it privately. These activities are NOT for social networking sites because said women seeeeee them! We are not blind. We are not going to take you seriously if you click "like" on every half-naked woman's photo (the FB ticker tells all) and subtweet another woman about how wonderful last night's conversation was. We can tell the difference between the comments that are just for fun and those that are real. And most of you have realized that checking in on FourSquare while on a date is a BIG no-no.
Now ease yourself out of that cybermirror of introspection and inquire within... Would you have a relationship with a woman who participated in all this foolishness? I'll wait... because one person said "It wouldn't bother me... She can do whatever she wants." You, sir, should not be dating anybody.
I wish you all well. There will be wonderful love stories in Spring 2012 from at least a few of you, so choose wisely, protect the love you foster, and leave the aforementioned foolishness behind.
I'm hoping and praying for your best!