Having chatted with some of my friends, male and female, here are some of the WORST unwritten (until now) rules of dating that have been displayed or said.
- You must have a pic to send me on-demand. And if I sext you, you sext back... no questions asked.
- I will classify you as boo, friend, homie, etc. I reserve the right to demote you without notice.
- I will romantically invite you out on a whim, but eventually I will disappear on you at regular intervals. You aren't the only one I'm entertaining.
- When I tell you that I love you, believe me even though you know I'm full of crap. "Real talk..."
- After some time away from you, I will text "I miss you." The proper response will be "I miss you too."
- I'm going to say hateful things to you via text and chat, but put an LOL or LLC on the end... That means you can't get mad.
- I will end the relationship, unofficially, when I find someone who will give it up, but I'll still text and call you in case that doesn't work out. He/she doesn't have to know.
- I'm only going to call late at night when my other boos aren't available. That's the best time to convince you to give me what I want.
- Expect to hear from me before your time of prayer and worship. You're feeling most forgiving during those times. I will also text you on generic holidays, but I'm going to forget your birthday on purpose... too expensive.
- Even though I know you will be done with me before long, I'm going to comment on all your photos and status updates to make sure you don't forget about me.
- Don't try to delete me from your phone or any social networking site. I will find out, become indignant, and harrass you elsewhere.
- When all is said and done, I will self-righteously and angrily tell you all your faults and then delete you from my phone... but I've still got your email. If you ever text me, I will respond "Who is this?"
Whatever you have to do, get away! Any person who has such a sense of entitlement will only make you weary in the end.
Besides, if you're going to the beach, why take sand?
I'm coming out of krazy and staying out by avoiding those with skewed values... Here's to hoping you'll join me!